PAULA'S POEMS
The following two poems were written by
Paula Kelly, mother of Calum's aunt, Bronagh Kelly. The first gives an accurate description of the household run by Calum's
grandfather, Colin Paton, in the 1980s, in their house, 6 Carnhill Walk, on the Castlemara estate in Carrickfergus.
Paula and her two sons, Karl and Darren, lived with Colin and his two sons there, for about three years, long before
Bronagh was born. The second poem was written for Colin's 60th birthday, which the family celebrated in Gouves, Crete, on
October 5th 2005.
THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE
By Paula Kelly
The head of the house, or so we are
told
Is ‘Big Colin’ Paton, so
brave and so bold.
He’s tall and dark, and not
bad looking,
And tries his best at cleaning and cooking.
He’s mostly quiet, pleasant and is usually good fun.
But when it comes to giving orders, he knows how that’s done.
It’s time for the tea, the chips must be cut,
So it’s “go tell Christopher
to get off his butt,
Karl dry the dishes, do it right,
don’t go wrong,
And you set the table, Colin, and don’t be too long.”
Now everything’s ready, it’s nearly time to eat,
So this is where Paula gets on her feet.
His intrusions begin with – ‘Aren’t you going to heat that fat?’
And the infamous one – ‘Why not put some tomatoes in that?’
However when all’s said and done,
At the dinner table it can be a lot of fun.
But everyone in this house certainly knows,
Its ‘stretch or starve’ as the saying goes,
Drinking coffee to Colin is a full
time job
He drinks a dozen in a day – the big fat slob.
When it comes to making them, he gives that a miss,
And usually that’s left to poor aul’ Chris.
The back hall’s a mess, of that there’s no doubt,
But he’ll get Colin to do that before he goes out.
But I must admit, he’ll light the fire at a cinch,
But somehow manages it without moving an inch.
It’s “someone empty those ashes or heads will roll,
And when you’re out there bring in a shovel of coal”.
Now we’re nice and warm, there’s plenty of heat,
But then it’s “What are you doing there, get out of my seat”.
When you want to make a phone call,
it’s down on your knees,
And for 20p he might see to lending you the keys.
Our friends and our relatives must think we’re insane,
For we have all learnt to talk at the speed of a train.
It’s “pay 60p, or get off the phone”, he’ll interrupt,
Talk on much longer and you’ll surely be bankrupt.
After all’s said and done, he’s
really not bad,
The kids could not get much better – he’s a rather caring dad.
But as he gets older and weaker he really should recall,
That Christopher and Colin are growing quite tall.
After all I’ve said, it can really go to pot,
Because deep down really, we love him a lot.
COLIN - 60
By Paula Kelly
This is not This is Your Life - Michael Aspel I
am not
But I will attempt to amuse you with some of your
lot.
It's all a bit jumbled, a bit like your life,
Changes and dramas with you have been rife.
This day 60 years ago,
in 1945,
A baby boy came into the world kicking and alive.
Your parents named you Colin, ahh, a wee bonny
lad,
You grew up, grew tall, with looks that weren't
bad.
You worked as a submariner travelling all over,
Had a girl in every port from Bangkok to Dover.
When you left, you settled back in Carrick, your
home town,
Got divorced and joined Gingerbread, to some, raising
a frown.
But now you live abroad which you'd always longed
for
After rearing your children a few more jobs and
off you tore
With wife number two you settled here abroad
A new part of life, you lucky big sod.
All these years you've stood over 6 foot tall,
A bit weghty now, built like a wall.
Still looking good, though going grey up top,
But an honour goes along with that - doesn't it
Grand-Pop?!
So here we are all gathered in Crete,
To celebrate your birthday, that is no mean feat.
It's your sixtieth and we've come from afar and
near
To celebrate with you and maybe shed a tear.
There's son number one Chris and your daughter-in-law
Claire
And your two wee grandsons, an adorable pair,
Son number three Robert is here as well
All come to party with you, to eat, drink and yell.
There's some friends here as well
With some personal stories to tell.
And me of course - not sure what I am
I just turned up to make the place look glam!
And now today you're sixty years old,
When they made you they broke the mould.
You're loving and caring and really quite kind
But no-one would say you are big headed, mind!
Recently you had such a dreadful scare,
Carrying a heavy weight you felt your back tear.
Off to the hospital, practically on your knees
Saying just fix me up - let me walk again please.
An operation later and your back's been mended,
The doctors and nurses are to be commended.
Just like Humpty Dumpty and the soldier men,
They put you back together again.
So now you're celebrating in more ways than one,
we can tell
As you've now turned 60 and feeling quite well.
Your family, neighbours and freinds are all glad
to be here,
And hope we can do it all again on your 65th year.
